Love may come softly, but ‘death’ can arrive with such severity. When loss separates you from your beloved pet what can you do? One of this column’s readers just lost her two dogs within a few months of each other. Another, in dog rescue, lost three dogs this year to old age, her cat was run over and her two oldest llamas were put down due to illness. Of course, even with the knowledge that people will most likely out live their pets… does that lessen the pain of them passing?

There is much written today about not becoming attached to both our human and our pet friends. The art behind learning this can take a life time. Some of you may be a little ahead of others. Some might even be faking the symptoms of ‘arriving.’ To those that have found that peaceful place, I ask you to send your loving support to those who haven’t. The pain felt is very real… the pain can and will engulf a heart when it is able.

In the west, and I’ve written of this before, we tend to humanize our pets. This can lead to even deeper emotional ties which can become overwhelming when the pending loss eventually arrives. Today I’m not pointing a finger… today I’m simply saying, “I understand.” Your grief may have taken on a dimension far bigger than others will comprehend.

Even without anthropomorphizing, when you lose your pet to “death,” you may need a time to grieve the loss. Pets need daily care; you spend hours of your time in their presence. They share (hopefully) your joyous times and your sadder times. Then suddenly they are gone. Some so suddenly that you don’t see it coming… others slowly fade away to old age and lingering good-byes.

My friend was devastated and guilt ridden when family needs drew her away from her wee dog’s last moments. Deb had loved Little-Bit for fifteen years; was the pup feeling alone during her last moments? I hope not. Perhaps she needed her beloved owner to leave her for those few minutes in order to make the separation from physical to spiritual. With all Deb’s love cushioning her, she moved on. Feel the sorrow of loss my dear friend… but I encourage you to drop the regret and guilt. Little-Bit left the way that worked best for her.

Grief can be like a season in your life. I once read a book called, Don’t Waste Your Sorrows. When a wave of pain comes, go deep into the moment… immerse yourself in the beautiful loving feelings you shared with your pet. Smile… even if a bitter sweet one. Laugh out loud at some of the funny memories. Indulge in a quick outburst of emotions. For precious moments touch that place in your heart where the two of you share a oneness. Then with a whispered, “I miss you,” let their love strengthen you, not weaken you. I think they will like that.