As a Holy Man I don’t spend my days sitting around pondering the mysteries of life. Like everyone else I deal with the never-ending challenges delivered by Spirit. Creative problem solving is crucial if we want to move closer to God.
As the parent of two teenagers my partner and I are constantly learning spiritual lessons, which always have an intermingling of humour.

Kids are wise beings so it is good to listen and watch.

Meet Violet, our 14 year old daughter going on 18, with maternal impulses directed towards her brother, and Forrest, her six foot, 12 year old brother, already an engineering whiz. The most commonly heard comments emanating from their lips are;
“I’m sorry…”
“I forgot…”
“I dunno…”

Ahhhh… the wonderfully magical forces of puberty – searching for identity and self-expression while the hormones race through their veins. Insults and taunts abound between them while love is the underlying theme; unbeknown to them of course.

On one typical day Violet called Forrest a “dork puppet”. His face suddenly looked as if someone had grabbed his forehead with a pair of vice grips and applied a 360 degree twist. He screamed in response to her name-calling and she retorted with a barrage of unrepeatable insults. Hot emotions emanated from both of them like lava from Mt. St. Helen’s. The intensity of their pubescent expression was so powerful that it caused our dog to bolt out the door, the cat bounded into the compost bin and our canary shot out a bum rocket which rattled it’s cage.

It was quite a scene, their faces inches apart, veins a popping and the verbiage spewing forth in lightning bolt fashion.

As my partner and I observed this act of sibling insanity I was blessed with a divine inspiration – I quickly grabbed a tube of super glue lying on the craft table, applied a quick squirt to Violets lips and pressed their flapping appendages together.

Presto!

A deafening silence filled the room as they froze in their tracks. Unable to shriek at this sudden turn of events their complexions now resembled two hot house tomatoes and panic quickly set in. They frantically tried to pull away from each other to no avail; we could feel their screams but only haunting muffled murmurs were emitted.

These few seconds of “lesson learning” seemed to have worked effectively. I squirted a healthy blast of garlic oil onto their lips and they were released from their turmoil. All in the Name of Love I thought to myself.
Gasping for breathe and reeking of garlic they both looked at me in dismay and horror while recoiling from each other.

“From now on when puberty gets out of hand I will simply add glue. Lets call it Glueberty.” I whispered into their oily faces.

Somehow they grasped the essence of this lesson, at least for the moment.

Such are the lessons in the life of a Holy Man.

Every experience we encounter in Life is an opportunity for growth and some lessons come very early.

Such was the case for me.

In the 1960’s it was common for doctors to hold a newborn child upside down by the feet and give a slight slap on the fanny to supposedly clear its windpipe. When I was born the doctor looked at me first, stared at my parents and slapped them instead.

This novel introduction to life caused me to become a Holy Man and appreciate the wonder of kids and the joys of parenthood.