Have you ever had those moments when your heart is just hurting? It’s not a state of depression as such, but a time of transition; when neither your body nor your emotions have completely adjusted. Leaving behind the old security blanket is not always easy.

I recently found myself in that place. I was learning how to feel more positive, and magnetize good things. My weekend was full of special joys and triumphs. I felt more alive than I had in a long time. I felt more ME than ever before.

But on a Sunday night, I felt a hurt within me stir. I turned down a much awaited phone call due to company. I struggled with the relationship I wanted, with said company, before I sent him out my door. What happened to those joys and triumphs? Why did it suddenly look like I was losing the precious ground I’d gained?

I liken what was going on to a child throwing a temper tantrum; “I don’t like these challenges,” she yells through her kicking and screaming. She’s afraid that she is losing something, someone. She wants to skip the voyage and go straight to the finish line.

Hold everything! We know that the journey, not the destination is most precious in this life. We know that temper tantrums are temporary and represent the part of us that isn’t necessarily looking out for our highest good. Take a deep breath; quietly pick yourself off the floor. With dignity, agree that you will run the race and discover the hidden treasures along the way.

Reach out to others in love. Let go of trying to control anything, other than, perhaps, your own choices. As I reach out to those of you reading this column, I feel the lump of pain within, diminish. I really am okay. I really do love myself. I am learning to attract what is best for me so that I can trust the outcome of all that lies ahead. There is no need for jealousy, envy, or rejection. Ultimately no one can reject me anyway. Why? I am part of the whole; you are part of the whole. We’re in this together, you and I. I reach out and gently touch your invisible faces. “We are one,” I whisper.

Smile, laugh, and realize how foolish your worry is. Open wide the flow of your soul, and let those healing rays of sunshine come in and lighten up those darkened corners. Don’t be afraid to say, “Yes, I am willing to move in a new direction. I am willing to trust the guidance I feel within. Yes, I will feel good in my heart so that I may connect with loving choices and blessings in my life. Yes, I will live my life to the fullest, one moment at a time. I am loved, I am whole and I am perfect, just as I am.”

From my heart to yours,

Nancee

During a recent walk in nature, I noticed garbage strewn in the gullies below me. An old car, slowly rusting under the influence of the elements, stood out amongst other odds and ends. Humans had definitely left their mark. But greater than the sight of the garbage, was the magnificence of nature around me.

I began to ponder upon my feelings. I felt nature wooing me in some powerful way as I sought to keep my mind silent within. A lesson was in the making; I could feel it forming in every part of my being. I literally found myself ‘vibrating’ in tune with the soil I stood on. The air felt electrified as energy bounced off the hills surrounding me. “I am greater than the garbage,” I heard whispered within.

My eyes saw what humans had strewn about. But I couldn’t, and wouldn’t get worked up about it. There is a collective energy that surrounds most things we experience. Attitudes on pollution are part of a huge collective consciousness. If I had yielded to hating the sight of the garbage, where would my energy gather? Well, I’d guess it would quickly magnetize with the negativity that causes the polluter to pollute in the first place. I’d become part of the action that pollutes our world.

I know that the landscape would look better without these signs of humans upon it. The deer that I startled from its resting place would probably appreciate us not littering in their living quarters. But as I stood there taking in the scene, something else stirred within me. I was a little shocked to realize, that what I really felt, was love.

Only love, joy, and peace will awaken the flow of the soul within each person. As I felt love for those who didn’t seem to know any better… or who knew better about dumping, and now carried the guilt of doing so…. I trusted that my new-found love would become part of a better collective consciousness. There was no condemnation and no judgment in my thoughts. I was having a special moment myself… I was receiving a stronger flow within, from my soul to my heart. I found myself feeling very grateful.

We humans need to awaken to the power and beauty of the life around us before we’ll understand how to treat our surroundings in a loving fashion. The need is great for our planet. I keep hoping that we’ll awaken and understand that we will better serve our precious Earth when we stop adding our criticisms and angers to the collective energy that causes it in the first place. In other words, dear travelers, let’s clean up the garbage within ourselves, by opening up within to a greater flow of love from our own soul. Meanwhile, may the garbage we see on our walks, remind us to look within, so that we will begin to see a change ‘without.’

From my heart to yours,

Nancee

I always smile when I realize that Easter time has arrived. I feel the joy, warmth and excitement welling up within. My next article was put on hold… replaced by a desire to share my seasonal thoughts with you.

I smile. Easter, for many, is often associated with chocolate. I’m sure that fact alone would make me look guilty of having no ‘spiritual’ attachment to the weekend. I think back to the birth of my daughter. My son was turning four and his grandma had bought him a big chocolate Easter bunny. The ears on that bunny wooed me. They cried out to be eaten. Since I was three weeks overdue and stressed by said mother-in-law visiting from Montreal (asking daily if I was in labour yet); would I resist?

“Good Friday,” as the Friday prior to Easter is often referred to, arrived. Along came the increased desire to appease my ‘self!’ Justifying that I could go shopping in the morning, I grabbed that tempting bunny and bit off the ears… BIG ears… a few hours later I went into labour. I was mortified! I’d be labeled a selfish mother!

I’ll never forget my close girlfriend whispering in my ear during visiting hours the next day, “I replaced the bunny for you.” Easter, a beautiful new baby, a good friend and my concerns were quickly evaporating.

Easter, aside from religious beliefs, is a great time for renewal and awakening. I enjoy celebrating its arrival. But my celebration is often a quiet one. A wander through nature is my favorite way. Here in the Okanagan the trees are blossoming and flowers are taking their first peek at life above the soil.

During a walk on the cliffs last week, I saw a hole disappearing into the ground…such a deep dark hole, where the sunlight couldn’t reach it. At first I thought it sounded most unappealing. Then I realized that new life is often born in such places in the wild. Nurtured beneath the soil, hearts start beating and whimpers are soothed away by the licking of a mother’s tongue.

Think about it. When you’re having one of those, “human moments,” when you forget that you’re an eternal soul, and feel bogged down in the grappling’s of your personality; is it possible that you are preparing something wonderful within? Instead of fighting the darkness of your “den,” try embracing it for the potential it offers you. Bring forth life; don’t waste the opportunity.

Take a walk this Easter weekend if you have time. Observe the songs of the birds around you, the freshness of the new buds on the tree branches; feel the vibrancy in the air. Then quietly, with a new smile upon your lips, think of the long chilly winter we’ve had this year. New life was preparing during those cold, dark days. What was made ready within you? Let the magnitude of your own soul fill your heart, revealing your own awakening.

From my heart,

Nancee

The sun is shining and the sky is blue as I type. I’ve just returned from a walk with you on my mind, those who will read my words and ponder a while on what I’m about to share. Heart and soul, they are simple words with such profound meaning for all of us.

I stood overlooking the valley, becoming so aware of my heart/soul connection. I have read that we can impart a little love into every object, every animal we see. If you don’t already do so, try it some time. Feel your heart swell within you as you realize that you have just drawn close to that nearby tree, or that little swallow flying over head. Your love blends quickly with them and a little more oneness is added to our world.

Then stand quietly for a moment. Do you feel the flow between your own soul and your human heart become stronger? Does your mind quiet within? That’s the experience this column is seeking to help you connect with. As we find ways to open up the flow from our soul to our heart, our personality becomes more and more ‘someone’ we love, respect and cherish.

We are often reminded not to be controlled by our minds or our human emotions.
Are we to kill them off? Certainly not! We just need to let our higher self, the part of our soul that is experiencing life through these bodies of ours, take the lead, instead of it being ‘forced’ into submission to the flapping of our egos.

I’m a dog trainer. I explain to people that as dogs enter a new home they look for the leaders. Seeing none that fit their leadership needs, they will assume the role themselves. Most dogs aren’t natural leaders. They do a very poor job and all kinds of challenges arise from them taking control of the home. Perhaps our egos do a similar thing within us. If we have over burdened our hearts and lost that wonderful life force flow from our soul… then the false self within will try and take charge. Actually, who am I kidding? It doesn’t try… it simply has taken most of us over!

There are two words most dog trainers preach. Be calm and consistent. Harsh methods are not needed and not encouraged in my training. Neither are they in the training of my own self. I simply learn to remain calm and be consistent. Consistently choose the loving way. You’ll know it if you pause long enough to listen to your heart. If you find yourself justifying, (my biggest challenge) then the odds are you’re having an argument with your own heart. Remain calm inwardly when you see yourself outwardly out of control and quietly let your heart take over.

Try this for the next two weeks. Write and share your experiences with me. Meanwhile I continue to reach out to you and share.

From my heart to yours,
Nancee

Heart and Soul offers me an exciting opportunity to share my writings. For thirteen years I enjoyed verbal expression through Toastmasters’ clubs in the Vernon area. Although I have been writing long letters since I was young, I’ve never gone public with my ponderings. I welcome you to join me in this column. In my heart it belongs to all of us who partake.

Two years ago I moved to the Penticton area from Vernon. Since I often speak of noticing the flip side of a coin, I joke that I had to move from the north end of the Okanagan Lake to the south end to fully understand its wonders. With a daughter, son-in-law and soon to be grandchild in Kelowna (middle of the lake) I enjoy traveling this great valley. Skaha Lake, on the other end of town holds many childhood camping memories. I can’t think of a better place to have my writings blossom.

We are here on this earth to learn and… well isn’t that one of the wonderful controversies of life? Why are we here? I don’t claim to have all the answers. I simply offer myself as a vessel of expression; and I trust that both my wisdom and that of those whispering in my heart, will aid me in what I write. Life calls to me to wake up and hear. There is so very much to observe.

Some mornings when I wake up and stumble to my computer, I find my vision still blurry from sleep. I try to read emails and they swim before my eyes as if some little pixie has been messing with my fonts. Then as my mind and physical eyes clear, I begin to view things clearly. I find that is true in daily life. The more we are willing to wake up, the clearer our inner vision sees life around us.

In this column I will explore the areas where heart and soul issues affect me. As you write to me, your thoughts and feelings will become part of my ponderings. That is how the column becomes ours and not just mine. Although right now your faces are unseen by me, I feel hearts and souls waiting to connect.

My life path has carried me through many human experiences… but mostly it has been a journey of understanding the messages my emotions have brought. Some friends find me too analytical and justify the comment because I’m a Virgo. I simply reply, “Truth beckons to me and my way to ‘her’ is through the peeling of the layers.” As I explore me I find I begin to understand you better. The journey is so worth the human emotional struggles. As joy blooms in my heart, I smile and whisper, “Well done.”

There are many technical ways of presenting material. Knowledge abounds in thousands of books. Although books and people do influence my writings, I tend to look within as I begin to write. Until I can turn knowledge into my own personal understanding, I find it difficult to regurgitate information. Author, Eckhart Tolle, often mentions that words are but sign posts to the real issue. Please take my words as sign posts to your own wisdom. May they fan the flame that burns deep within you and help clear the way for a stronger flow from your soul to your heart. May that flame ignite the person, you, who shares a place on this earth.

Welcome to this leg of my journey; may we become reacquainted along this path as we travel it together.

From the heart,

Nancee