Nancee Doan

My first breath was in New Westminster, B.C. where I became second born of five children. Income was scanty but we were well looked after. Mom and I always seemed to clash. I probably frustrated her as much she did me. Dad was quiet and rather passive. I had a fairly ‘average’ upbringing.

My son and daughter are married with children of their own. Both walk a more conventional path than I do. Although they understand me, I wonder whether their spouses watch me with a combination of awe and concern. I simply have never completely been able to conform to “normal.”

At age twelve I daydreamed of living on a farm. By age twenty-nine that dream started to take form. Living on a cattle ranch I quickly took over as a mid-wife to cows. I loved those little babies as they entered our world. They had no idea what a controversy their lives were born into. I have learned much from those days.

Two years later found the four of us with a small hobby farm of our own. I realized that as a twelve year old I had no concept of how much manure a farm produces! Again lessons were learned. My marriage was a nightmare, but what a loving oasis amongst the storm, were our beloved critters.

Pets and animals have always been a main part of my life. I had to leave the farm behind but I took our horses with us. As the years passed the horses were replaced with llamas. I became the “Llama Lady” in the Vernon area as I either walked or drove my triple-hitch team around the valley. More lessons were learned. More moving took place.

Of course my heart felt broken many times over the years. Nineteen years in a charismatic Christian experience; relationships that just couldn’t get off the ground no matter how hard I tried; decisions made that split my friends’ opinion of me and shocked me in the process. But I continued to observe. I continued to understand. Love found a way to flow between my soul and my heart as I learned to replace tears with a smile and negativity with laughter.

Church social days were replaced with Toastmasters. Church doctrines were replaced with what I trust is even greater truths. My hunger continues… my thoughts and observations flow. My pen and paper was replaced by computer word documents. Dating sites became a new way of approaching my, once again, single life.

I’ll be writing to you from the sunny Okanagan, here, in Penticton. (See more on that in my article, “Welcome to Heart and Soul.”) This is where my path crosses with yours and my adventure continues. I have no degrees or documents. I simply have my life and a desire to share it with you through this column, Heart and Soul.